I'm Thankful... Despite it all.

       ​Having a chronic illness is TOUGH! I am currently sitting in this hospital wide awake with a million and one things on my mind. Believe it or not, many things that I do think about are usually the same things that I think about every time I’m locked up in here. I wonder how long I’ll be locked in for, the things I could be doing instead of being stuck in this bed and I think about the food I could be eating; even though I have no appetite this time. Why am I here? To me, it’s too long to explain, so the shortened version is that I have no appetite, I can’t keep food food down, abdomen pain, major fatigue and drastic weight loss in a month. Now when I say “food food”, I’m talking about full blown meals; a meat, a starch, veggies, and desert.
​        Before I really stopped eating, I was eating like a 3 year old and then I started eating only bites of things which lead me to lose almost 50 pounds within a month! Now I know I’m looking all slim thick and what not BUT… I. AM. WORRIED. So after 2 previous ER pull-ups, I finally got admitted so that the “professionals” could take a thorough look at me because I just feel that something is wrong and I hate to feel sick—I know that I’m constantly sick but that’s just called lifetime sick. My bubbly isn’t as authentic as it should be when I feel sick. When I feel good, I’m bubbly, which brings joy to people all over. Sigh. But here I am. 

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