Those who know me, KNOW, I name EVERYTHING! So Lupus is named Lupus and she is a she because she is a part of me. I wake up, go about my day, sleep, eat, and Lupus is still here. She invades my space and gets on my nerves. Many people have had so many questions when it has come to her and want to understand how I felt and what was going through my mind. Some people wonder how I managed to continue to be happy, stay “strong” and even determined to stay level headed. Some people expected me to be torn down and broken but with God, ALL things are possible, you hear me!? But I have been torn down and broken but I always have gotten up. I've thought that this is the end but believed that there is more to life than this and best believe I have lost hope because of what it looked like BUT if it wasn't for those praying for me! When my faith got shaky, encouragement flooded me. When I felt ugly, I was reminded that I am beautiful. Things were not always sunny and every piece of news I got just felt like an emotional roller coaster. One minute, news would get worst and then better and then it just got worst and worst. Heartache after heartache. But with much bad came much good from Lupus and she is just that thorn in my side to humble me. Even today, I don’t know where Lupus came from and the doctors can’t tell me. All I know is that stress played a major role in it. People do not believe it but stress CAN AND WILL KILL YOU—if you let it. Many people never heard of Lupus. I didn’t know what it was until I was diagnosed and even then, I was still confused. How could my body be fighting itself? I can't be upset and stressed because she will flare. So I have to be careful and not let things bother me, even though I let them. I can't worry about the little things. Besides that, I had to put my big girl panties on, suck up some strength, and go with it because I didn’t want to lose the battle to Lupus. I’m too strong and been through too much. Each battle makes me stronger and wiser. So here I am, writing. At first, I didn’t want to blog. But I love to run my mouth, so why not!? Lupus may be apart of me but she has NOT and WILL NOT take over me.
Many people don't know that in the same year when I was diagnosed with Lupus Nephritis (2011), I also developed a Pulmonary Embolism (blood clot in the lung). I just remember how pissed I was because I had the "why me" feeling. Have you ever been going through something and feel like you're the ONLY ONE that it is happening to? Well, that was me, definitely. Never being sick before, I had to learn the ways of health and how hospitals worked and they are the worse! I had been questioning God like "Cough, Cough, sooo, what's good Lord?" "So you just gonna drop a disease I knew NOTHING about right in my immune system without ANY warning!?" I just didn't get it. I then believed that God had been punishing me for everything bad that I did in my past. I didn't think I was a horrible person but my slick mouth has had her ways. From wanting to be on the working side of health to actually being the statistical side of health really broke me down a bit. But months later, I had bounced back and was ready to conquer the world and be the "Nurse Practitioner" I always wanted to be. However, one day, I got shot down and that was the first time I ever heard someone say to me without directly saying it to me that I can't do something.
So, here we are, after 2-3 years of not using it, The Lupie Girl is back and I am proud to say that I am more excited than ever! Lupus has taken a big toll on me and has really become a part of my everyday life. October 2016 will make 6 whole years since I was first diagnosed with Lupus. Seems like yesterday!
For those who don't know me, I ask that you take some time and click The LupieGirl tab in order to understand how Lupus has affected my life. Even though I say "I am a physician by experience", I must say that I am NOT a physician. All advice, encouragement and cool tips are all from what I did throughout my journey on my own and does not in any way, shape or form acknowledge that I am a physician. I am not giving medical advice, I am telling you of the things that I have done in order to live, cope and heal living with Lupus. LOL, Plus, everyone with Lupus is affected differently, so everything doesn't work for everybody.
However, I hope that I say something to you to encourage you, motivate you and hopefully inform you of things that you may not have known before you came here to The Lupie Girl. If you have any questions or just want to comment and say your piece, PLEASE, do NOT hesitate to comment in the box below. I would love to hear from all you and see what you all may think or even remedies and tips that you all can give to me! No question is stupid and no comment is too far fetched. I want to share my journey and how it made me better, stronger and willing to influence others with Lupus or chronic illnesses and remind them that it is OKAY, you will succeed and you are not alone. Last thing before I actually start sharing, my number one rule is: NO MATTER WHAT, STAY POSITIVE!!!!
Can you do that? If so, Let's do this!
Did You Know?
An estimated 1.5 million Americans and 5 million people worldwide are living with lupus.