Well, well, well. I know that I supposedly did an update on what happened in October and in the beginning of November but my mind was every where and that is in fact my fault SO (I had to catch my breath because of this run-ON sentence that I just created), here I am AGAIN. Well, October 25, 2016 was my 6th year Lupiversary. A Lupiversary is the "Anniversary" of the day a Lupie was diagnosed with Lupus. So, yes. It was my 6th year Lupiversary and I was so happy and hopeful, and just...thankful. Those who have been with me these past six years KNOW that it has been a STRU-GGLE! However, those who have been with me these last six years know just how hard I've worked, cried, pouted, and even gave up when it comes to Lupus. On that day I had to really get in my prayer closet and thank God because I began to reminisce on all the things that happened which made me sad, happy, and even angry. Many just don't know. In the last six years, Lupus wasn't the only thing that I was going through. I was going through a really rocky relationship, I miscarried, I experienced a horrific breakup, I suffered from depression, I forgot how to love myself, I was lost on life, I was lost with God, I ended up on Dialysis and my life was spiraling out of control. But God. But God allowed me to bounce back like NEVER before and THAT, is what's important. God allowed me to continue to go on and receive my Bachelor's degree. God allowed me to be happy and genuinely love myself. God allowed me to pick myself up EVERY TIME I fell. God allowed me to be a vessel--a healthy vessel--and tell my story, "LOOKING" as if I have been PRIVILEGED ALL MY LIFE. God allowed me to breathe again when the nurse said I wasn't breathing, God allowed me to take showers when for a month I wasn't allowed to. God allowed me to go on and be able to WORK for a Master's Degree in the same field that I was told would be too "high stressed" for me. BUT GOD! Remember, things happen in our lives for a reason. I always look around at other people and always holler how I want to be "normal" but if I was, The Lupie Girl wouldn't have been born! Lupus may have brought me many lows but she has also brought me many highs. I've met people that I wouldn't have met hadn't I been on this journey. Stay encouraged and stay inspired!
Some people ask me questions from time to time. A question I am CONTINUOUSLY asked is, how do you do it?
To be honest, I have NO choice. I do this because my life depends on it. Don’t get me wrong, I DO GO THROUGH. I’m going through as we speak and that is what really pushed me to write. People had been telling me that they are keeping up with my blogs and asking when will I post my next one; I had no answer. So, I decided to write today. For about the last week, I have been discouraged about it all—everything from Dialysis to just my life in general. I do understand that in this battle, times like this DO come. However, I am struggling to handle it and fight and push through. It’s like I can feel the finish line but my body and my mind is pulling me back. My mind constantly thinks and due to that I have been waking up very early. My mind is like a constant machine, thinking of things I’ve done, could’ve done, should’ve done, and shouldn’t have done. I’ve had dreams where I didn’t have Lupus or any type of disease. I had no catheter hanging out of my abdomen. No machine to hook up to every night, no doctor appointments, no nothing. However, I understand that it all happened for a reason and I do have a purpose. You do too. We influence people we don’t even think listen, but they do. Don’t worry though, my time is coming where I will bounce back better than ever. I believe it. You all stay encouraged and remember, this battle IS NOT yours (I’m really talking to myself). The hardest battles are in fact given to the strongest warriors and nothing that is done goes in vain.
Did You Know?
An estimated 1.5 million Americans and 5 million people worldwide are living with lupus.