Thank You BUT, NO Thank You

Before I talk about the process..

Tomorrow I have the honor (not really) of going back down to the Cleveland Clinic for ANOTHER ONE (Kidney Evaluation) and this one is more intense than the others. Tomorrow, I have to do CT scans, chest X-rays and a couple of other tests. I hope they don't check my weight again because that hospital stay put about 10 pounds on me. Am I nervous? Of course not. I really like this hospital and I really hope and pray that this hospital is in His plan of where I receive my kidney. They make me feel extra comfortable and they will explain EVEN IF YOU don't care to hear it. Well, I've been getting a lot of messages in reference to the kidney transplant donor process. First before I even explain the process, I really have to say thank you; a true sincere thank you. I never would've never thought I would be asking people for an organ but, here I am. Giving an organ is not a everyday thing (it happens alot though) and for those who have told me that you want to donate to my cause by giving one of your own, Thank you, thank you, thank you! But as quick as I say that I must say something else.

If and only if you choose to do this, please, please, do it from your heart. If you are looking for me to bow down to you and hail you as a King or Queen for it, I DON'T WANT it. Lately, I have been considered "unappreciative" not because I've done something "intentionally" to hurt others but because I've done things that may have made a person think that I was thinking about myself and not them even though I could barely hold myself afloat. Due to my illness I've depended on the help of others but it seems that now due to my shortcomings, I've been criticized for not being able to hold my weight AND their weight when I was needed and expected to. From that, I've been considered "selfish" and "unappreciative" for what others may have done for me even though I try to do everything to the capacity in which I can do it. So again, if you are looking for something in return for this other than a sincere thank you and helping you with what I can when I can, than with the kidney donation. Thank you, but no thank you.