Last Sunday...

So, it's been a little while since I made a post (feel like) but here I am! Lupus is the same annoyance she was yesterday and when she first came into my life. Dialysis, I can say that it has actually been pretty good because of the fact that I only do it once a day, AT NIGHT TIME, while I'm catching Z's. Cleveland Clinic called and I'm getting ready for that evaluation but the lady over the phone advised me to lose about 15 more pounds. At first, I said to my self "BIH, NO!" but then I had to be my grown up self and really reevaluate what I was eating because I had been slacking a little. I eat like a mouse now but I still needed to be eating right. So I do my little 2 miles a day (not everyday really, I be lazy sometimes honestly) and I do eat a lot better. However, that is not what this post was about. 

This past Sunday I decided that I had skipped out on enough services and thought that I really should go. I needed to repent, thank God and really talk to him because there were some things that I needed to clear up, with him and myself. Now don't get me wrong, my house is my prayer closet. I know who I am and whose I am and I know that I can go before him ANYTIME, but, I just felt that it was not a bad idea to be in the house of the Lord and listen to the vessel He used in order to deliver the word. However, this past Sunday was different than all the rest. Now, I had decided to make an effort to show up ON TIME because I was one of those "I only want to hear the word" kind of saints. I got there early and was able to really thank God and get my mind right. Praise was awesome. I praised him and just thanked him for it all. However, the worship. It was different. It was a spiritual  meeting between Him and I. You know those saints who be crying all loud and yelling? That was me. Have you ever been through something so rough and was just so grateful and thankful that you got through it?! (sigh) Let me tell you something, God has brought me through some things and have saved me from situations that should have left me dead or locked up. God protected me even when I didn't deserve to be. My hospital stay in April was probably my roughest of them all, but I thanked God anyway. I was so proud to be the vessel that HE chose to walk this path and tell this story. On Sunday I shouted before the Lord telling him of my thoughts and my struggles. I poured my heart out before Him and it was a true refreshing experience. I thanked Him for the days that I couldn't walk. I thanked Him for the times that my legs hurt in the middle of the night. I thanked Him for just being able to take a shower because I remember when I couldn't bathe because I had the catheter that was in my chest that went to my heart. I am so thankful for life. It may have been rough but it has taught me a lot. Dang. That experience was so real. I wish that you could've felt it.