Brief Reflection

Well hello YOU! This year has been crazy but thankfully many of us are still here and able to move about and live another day. Living through a global pandemic is one thing but living through a global pandemic with a chronic illness has been…one of a kind. On New Year’s Eve 2019 as the ball was dropping in Times Square and we all were celebrating the beginning of a new decade, I just knew that 2020 would be special. I knew I would eat right, lose weight, meet that amazing man, expand the LupieGirl, find a new job, and the list just keeps going and going. However, 2020 truly brought the unexpected, for real for real.

The last time I remained in the house, not going anywhere, for weeks at a time is when I received my transplant, Bobby. I had to remain in the house for 6 weeks—but I was still at least going to the hospital every week for check-ups.
When this pandemic started, I stayed in the house for weeks because no one really knew what to do. I started a new job and my first week, I was preparing to work from home. I was overwhelmed and had many emotions. I was watching the news and seeing people lose their jobs, fall behind on bills and the possibility of people losing the very place they called home. I saw the numbers rise and began hearing stories of people being put on ventilators and them leaving here so soon. I heard constantly on the news, “Those living with compromised immune systems or over 65 years of age are at the highest risk”.  I was afraid but everything people were recommended to do, as a Lupie, I had already been doing it to prevent the possibility of getting ill and getting locked up.
 
Then I got locked up. I had an infection in both my Peritoneal Dialysis catheter and my catheter in my chest. I was taken off of Peritoneal Dialysis and placed back on Hemo-Dialysis where I had a graft placed in my arm. After 3 or 4 surgeries on this graft, it still doesn’t work. Sigh… I was in and out of the hospital (like always) and so scared because I knew people who were infected with COVID were only a floor or two above me. However, I tested for COVID so far 5 times and each time, results came back negative—Thank God.
 
I’ve been told that I have to have a fistula placed in my groin and honestly, I have no idea how to take that. I’ve been processing it and trying to remain positive. I’ve already had an issue with the entire idea of having to stick myself every-day. Now knowing that it will one day be in my groin where I have to stick myself is definitely scary.  However, I’m going to keep my head high and continue this journey. Despite it all, I still thank Him.
 
Whether you have a chronic illness or not, please, please take care of your body. Please remember to wash your hands and sanitize. You can’t see germs but know that they are there. Many of us are constantly touching our faces, which is how we can first make contact with different infections and let’s not forget the masks.  I truly believe that wearing a mask protect others from you as well, not just the other way around. Know that you got this and as time goes on, so will many of our lives will go on too. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with all the families that have a lost a loved one during this pandemic.